1. Whenever you feel worthless, remember. You were once the quickest sperm cell.

2.
My name is little dancing man but you can call me dark and every day I do a jig from morning until dark.
Fine lassies come from far and wide to watch me shake my touch and if they start to crowd me 1 yell ‘ladies’ please don’t push!

3.
Pappu went to a doctor to get a solution of loose motions.
Doctor: tell me, what’s your problem?
Pappu: Suffering from unlimited free outgoing with different ringtones.

4.
Manager: What is your qualification?
Pappu: I’m Ph.D.
Manager: What do you mean by Ph.D.?
Pappu: Passed high school with difficulty.

5. Once Rajnikanth went to Switzerland and accidentally dropped his wallet in a building. Since then the building is known as ‘Swiss Bank’

6. The best day for you in the whole year is April 1 because that’s the day that suits you best.

7. Money can’t buy love, but it improves your bargaining position…

8.
Interviewer: What is a skeleton?
Sardar: Sir, skeleton is a person who started dieting, but forgot to stop it.

9. A fast beating heart doesn’t always mean love. A blushing face is not always a sign that you’re in love. Sometimes hubog lang! Hahaha

10. Every new year’s I resolve to lose 20 pounds and I do. The problem is that I gain 30.

11.
A cute Nurse came for interview.
Doctor: What salary do you expect?
Nurse: Rs 10,000
Doctor was overjoyed and said: My pleasure.
Nurse: With pleasure its Rs 25,000

12.
Wife: whenever we keep the money in the bags our son steals it, I don’t know what to do?
Husband: Keep it in his books. I know he will never touch them!

13.
New way of writing answers in exams.
If you don’t know the answer,
then put lines like this:
||||||||||
and write below:
‘Scratch here for ANSWERS’

14.
One boy on his way to home with his mom after school,
Saw a couple kissing on the road,
He suddenly shouted and said look mom,
They are fighting for CHEWING GUM.

15.
Height of Shame.
At bus stop a girl was standing with her face covered. A man on bike stops and says ‘Let’s have fun today!’
Girl replies: Papa it’s me!

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